


Happy New Year

by andromedagalaxy



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-25 22:22:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13222434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andromedagalaxy/pseuds/andromedagalaxy
Summary: “What are your resolutions?” Philip asks, nosing along a wrinkle in Lukas’s jacket.Lukas narrows his eyes. “I never really make them,” he says, watching a star twinkle brightly above their heads.“On purpose?” Philip asks.“No,” Lukas says, though the word turns up at the end with the half-stories behind it. He’s never really wanted to commit to anything except motocross because nothing he could commit to publicly was ever what he actually wanted to do. His dad once suggested he resolve to learn to play the guitar, and even though he was interested in the idea, Lukas inwardly balked at it because his dad had come up with it. His whole life, until recently, has felt like a war, an internal battle between what society expected and what was in his heart.





	Happy New Year

They’re lying on a checkered picnic blanket in the backyard, the clear sky littered with stars. It’s pure velvet quiet, the kind of quiet that would usually unsettle Lukas. His dad texted him goodnight and happy new year about half an hour ago, and Helen and Gabe are likely still sitting on the couch inside the house, two sweating bottles of beer on the coffee table and the Times Square celebration coming to a head on the TV. It’s cold but not too cold, and the second blanket they’d brought out is one from Lukas’s bed, slung low around their waists and over their legs.

Philip cuddles up closer on Lukas’s right side, and Lukas tightens his arm around his shoulder.

“What are your resolutions?” Philip asks, nosing along a wrinkle in Lukas’s jacket. 

Lukas narrows his eyes. “I never really make them,” he says, watching a star twinkle brightly above their heads.

“On purpose?” Philip asks. 

“No,” Lukas says, though the word turns up at the end with the half-stories behind it. He’s never really wanted to commit to anything except motocross because nothing he could commit to publicly was ever what he actually wanted to do. His dad once suggested he resolve to learn to play the guitar, and even though he was interested in the idea, Lukas inwardly balked at it because his dad had come up with it. His whole life, until recently, has felt like a war, an internal battle between what society expected and what was in his heart.

Now his heart is settled. Yearning, aching, beating wildly for the boy beside him. And this isn’t a silent love, something buried and broiling under the surface. No, this love is out, clear, and would have been whether he’d decided on it or not. It was just too strong, overwhelming, Philip’s face burned on the backs of Lukas’s eyelids whenever he tried to stop and steady his own breathing. Everything else is muted, firmly on the back burner. He hadn’t understood real importance until he almost lost Philip. And now he knows. Now he really, really knows. 

“My resolution,” Philip says, his hand resting on the core of Lukas’s chest, “is to finish that album I started of you on the bike.”

Lukas snorts, smiling. “You were gonna do that no matter what.”

“Yeah,” Philip says. “But now this is extra incentive.”

“You’re getting better and better at editing that stuff,” Lukas says, and in his mind he’s fawning over him, going on and on about how goddamn talented Philip is. How smart he is, how cute, how sweet, how kind. Jesus, it hits him sometimes. Just how fucking lucky he is.

Philip hums a little bit, slipping one leg between both of Lukas’s. “Just practice,” he says. 

There’s a bit of a breeze and Lukas holds him tighter. 

“Dorming together is gonna be awesome,” Lukas says, visions of college flashing in his mind. It’s set in stone months ahead of time, because they’ve been avoiding procrastinating the important shit lately so their anxiety can stay at a minimum. “I’m glad that worked out.”

“Yeah,” Philip says, and when Lukas looks down he can see a smile curving Philip’s features. “Would have sucked to get some shitty roommate.”

“It’s high potential I’m gonna be a shitty roommate,” Lukas says, carding his fingers through Philip’s hair. “You have no idea.”

“Uh, I’ve stayed over enough times to see how you leave your clothes everywhere,” Philip says. “And how you leave lights on.”

Lukas shrugs. 

Philip laughs, shifting so he’s looking up at him. “None of it is gonna bother me.”

Lukas stares at him. He feels like every moment he has like this he’s trying to memorize Philip’s face—the little scar on his forehead, the mark under his lower lip, his eyebrows, his eyelashes, his cheekbones. God, he’s beyond anything. The stars above them are no match. 

“I resolve,” Lukas says, “to not be a shitty roommate. Or a shitty boyfriend. In fact, I resolve to be a _good_ boyfriend. And a good roommate. But primarily a good boyfriend.”

Philip grins beautifully. “You’re already a good boyfriend, babe.”

Lukas knows he could never be good enough. But fuck, he’s gonna try. “I’m gonna be better. Better and better and better. Like you said…practice.”

Philip shakes his head at him like he does sometimes, that enduring fondness in his eyes despite his incredulity. He leans in and kisses him, soft, and Lukas relaxes into it.

They watch 2017 turn into 2018 on his phone, the seconds ticking down.

“Five,” Lukas whispers.

“Four.”

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One.”

Lukas doesn’t wait another second and kisses him, hard, wanting to ring in the New Year the right way. And it’s still silent out here, only muffled cheers coming from the TV inside. But it doesn’t unsettle Lukas, not at all. There’s no worry, no fear, only them, only Philip. The calm kind of quiet they find together, never awkward, only warm. Safe. Resolutions feel possible now that he’s found his footing, found a life where he can be himself, where people know who he is. And he never would have made it here if it wasn’t for Philip.

Lukas is so grateful for Philip. For seeing him, the real him, when no one else ever did.

“Happy New Year, Lukas,” Philip says, nuzzling their noses together.

“Happy New Year, Philip,” Lukas says, reveling in him for a moment before he kisses him again.


End file.
